They treat me like muck and I don't know why. For further help offline, visit our guide to. Do you think there are any genetic traits about your son that remind you of your abuser? The court’s aim is to decide what is in the best interests of the child. I Don’t Want to Live Anymore: 11 Ways to Get Unstuck 1. Imagine the worst - that you did not see him any more ever - would that fill you with panic/ sadness? You can call them, email them or drop in to their branch and they are able to talk through your situation and help you to access local services. Sending you a warm hug this morning, I can hear that you are feeling completely and utterly exhausted and at the end of your tether :sadhug If they are bored they will get up to things. She does ANYTHING she can to get her own way. It was always obvious that she was different but it took a lot of fighting with GPs to be referred for a diagnosis. I see to there every need. This thread has been a revelation for me. My daughter is 3 and doesn't listen to me or do anything I ask. She also bangs around in her bedroom and makes noise to wake her baby sister up despite us BEGGING her to stop and BEGGING for some chill out time as grown ups without having to look after kids just for a couple of hours in the evening. I was very young when I met him and he was 20 years my senior. The Mix offer counselling sessions for children from the age of 10, but this is via a web chat service and gives her up to 8 sessions which last 50 minutes each. I’d suggest you spend more time with your son as mine grew up and time was lost. As one of the replies to your post said, you must love them because you care and look out for them. But when a parent is struggling I think it's normal to experience feelings of resentment. You have kindly given me a few minutes of your time, and I do appreciate that. Do you feel these are just thoughts or are you fearing that she may be at risk of acting on them? You did not leave your child. I do not want to be the horrible new daughter in law and kick her out. Leave the blokes alone for a while until you are fixed. They are using negative behaviour as a way of getting attention. I've done everything I can to give her a semblance of normality and he has been good to her despite how constantly negative and aggressive she is ) because she scratched her hard when they were in the pool in the summer for no reason. This is something that you should be really proud of. I spend my whole life feeling guilty because I don't like her and I don't want her. I actually used to really enjoy being a mum when my little boy was a baby and a toddler. Don’t assume your child always wants to chat or text. To cut a long story short. Xx. I do know how you feel being abused by a cheating liar. Our children need love and attention, and plenty to occupy their minds and work to do with their bodies. Another avenue to try, if you haven't already, is to contact your local Mind Charity. This is something that you should be really proud of. My husband is not really very helpful but he tries to be supportive to me. Children express resistance to staying with their other parent in different ways. I'm totally loosing the will to live and would rather be dead than have to inflict my daughter with the awful mother that I am. Now, I did a mind body course about 8 years ago when I was suffering deep depression because of infertility that had been going on a decade and after my first IVF ended in a second trimester miscarriage and then a failed frozen embryo attempt. My youngest is a different story, she is happy and loving and I love her as a mother should do and more. My life is hell daily. Sent from my iPhone using Netmums, Hello Zoe, We have tried almost everything. Have quiet times and a reward sticker for keeping it quiet for 20 minutes. One reason they turn to drugs and alcohol is that they watched their parents or some other relative do the same thing. He used to be so well behaved in public, people would actually comment on it. Help! The noise level in the house is horrendous and I find myself having to shout just to be heard. Which I suppose maybe I am, but I just feel like I'm being honest. I'm feeling really bad. When you least expect it he will come along, all you need to remember is this child isn't going to hurt you like you've been hurt...maybe do small activities with your little boy and build up a stronger bond from where I'm sitting you have trust issues but with your son it's different than any man. i don't want to live with my parents PLEASE HELP ME. I really don't think anyone would admit this... but I believe there is a root cause. Jenny, you said that you have had counselling and medication and are aware of CBT, but that none of it has worked - is that right? Be empathetic and set an example. I would get yourself on a course ASAP and then try practicing it with your children. Well done for putting reaching out to someone with all your feelings it must be so hard for you keeping all this bottled up. :sadhug These were on Ritalin for their condition and were coming off it for a couple of days a week after practicing the mindfulness meditation and sitll maintaining good behaviour at school. Pregnant 8 Weeks IVF Rainbow baby He's a good kid, typical 5 year old who is complete bum hole at times but he does everything I ask of him with very little fuss but I just can't seem to love him, it sounds completely stupid but I am so cold hearted these days that I couldn't care less if he is here or not and I feel awful about it but It's true, I can't wait for him to go to bed (which he does without argument) , I can't wait for him to go to his dads but when he does I sit around feeling so lonely and usually go out clubbing purely to fill the time! We had to give our dog up because of her. I want to run. Nothing I did seemed to soothe my baby and I didn't feel a connection to her at all. I actually used to really enjoy being a mum when my little boy was a baby and a toddler. I've realised recently that I'm not in love with my boyfriend anymore, and I really can't bare living with him anymore as it just feels forced and like a lie. I know typically when a couple split up the children live with their mother, but I can't help but want to split up with my boyfriend and leave my son to live with him. Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting. This thread has been a revelation for me. I think you should go and speak to your doctor and tell them everything you have told us they aren't there to judge you but to offer you advice I went a month ago I felt like all I wanted to were walk out of my family home Iv never thought I would want to leave my little boy he's my world but I were hating the word mummy and I were scared I were going to turn against him. We don't go out much because she causes such a HUGE ridiculous fuss and by the time we manage to get her out the door we are so p&£sed off and bringing her is like bringing a black cloud. Tel; 0808 802 5544. Aw this is sad to read. Im really relating to you I’ve been here only it was much worse for me I got myself into depression where I wasn’t doing anything with my life. People remark on what a good parent I am, and I wonder why they say that, because my kids behaviour is constantly challenging and it is always aimed at me. My husband is have them for the first time in over 9 months, next week. I have asked for loads of help over the years_no one judged me they just helped, Many of the other posts on here about others who are struggling to get any enjoyment out of being a mum, seem to be coming from women who are the mothers of babies, where it can usually be linked to post natal depression. I won’t feed you some bullshit like it’s all going to be OK with time because it may not be, and it may not turn out as you wish, but you will never know if you don’t stick around to find out. can't cope, can't breath, don't want to be here anymore. My daughter is 3 and doesn't listen to me or do anything I ask. Tell your child: I don't want to live with her anymore. I was on autopilot and felt a complete disconnect and I was EXHAUSTED. Xx She is not a nice child despite being given unlimited love (I'm good at faking it, I know how I should feel and I should act.) Could that be an option? A place to let off steam and receive support from other Netmums. my mum rarely drunk anymore. For yourself Zoe, The Young Minds website has a parent advice line that you can contact if you are in need of further advice and suggestions on how to move forward. I am half tempted to email him during the week and say that I don't want them back. Sounds like he has some stresses in his life, I imagine he is struggling with hormones & changes as he is going through puberty, let alone all of the wild & scary things that are out there in social media and school and so on. My child is loved and has everything he needs and more, he has a truly nice life that anyone would be lucky to have. I hope you can find some support that will help you. Obviously I can't talk to anyone about any of these feelings because they would automatically judge me and assume the worst. I don't think it's simple but i definitely don't think that you don't love your son I am reading what I have written and thinking what a despicable person I am and the tears are rolling. I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown. We have had to lock her outside several times in the garden because she has been so violent and out of control in the house. Typical bully. Keep chatting to us here jenny and let us know how your appointment goes - we're always here to listen and will support you in what ever way we can. Hi Jenny, I'm Loraine, one of the netmum's parent supporters. Get help_ your hv can help till child is 5, or if your son is at school then they will have a pastoral support worker. my mum has recently told us that she wont be seeing him again and that we'll be moving back to where my dad lives because they're getting back together. Willie D ... women date men who are in the world they live in, or aspire to live in. I now am isolated and depressed. And secondly I can't imagine having to go through this all over again with a second. I sometimes think of my son and feel such hatred towards him (but don't let him know that), I dread him coming back from his dad's, I dread 3:15 when he comes back from school and even pay for him to stay longer (which he loves doing) just so I don't have to deal with the subconscious resentment that I have to hide from him and the resentment I feel for myself for feeling that way. No, this doesn’t mean I want to break up. I definitely think you need to go see your doctor on your own and with your son. It can be very embarrassing when people who are not at that stage (yet) judge you. When you least expect it he will come along, all you need to remember is this child isn't going to hurt you like you've been hurt...maybe do small activities with your little boy and build up a stronger bond from where I'm sitting you have trust issues but with your son it's different than any man. Mc 5 years ago ⭐️. I wish it wasn't true but it is, her personality is his. I am madly in love with my own child but still cannot feel anything for my stepchildren. If I admit how I feel will they take my child. It's clear from what you write that you love your son. What we're your parents like? He doesn't live in the Uk and he will be flying out with them. my mom and dad are still married but they argue a lot. You need to be a little kinder to yourself and by accessing the help you deserve, you can start to feel alive and enjoy being a mum again. Or some real 1:1 mummy son time like a team bonding exercise with lots of laughter might help you to fall in love again. It took practice and to be taught how to do it and several weeks perservering with it. Answered by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW on 2018-05-8 - Link. But it sounds like you’re stuck between 2 different lives-1 as mummy and 1 as the new you who has the freedom to do what she wants now you’re free of your abusive past. I don't know how other mums do it? Clubs etc is no place to meet a nice good man in my opinion it's unlikely. I used to be a very happy and positive person. 2 F. ForeverSpring Well-Known Member. Maybe get some help to solve the behavioural problem and you will find the relationship get better!?! I'm not sure what the answer is. I haven't a clue what I am doing here but I just don't know where to turn as a daren't admit this to anyone I know! Clubs etc is no place to meet a nice good man in my opinion it's unlikely. I am currently in my third year at university, I work and look after my children without a break. Dec 11, 2016 #6 He will never be a big part of my life. noone can judge you it sounds a nightmare an I mean no wonder your depressed an its not your fault how you feel , all kids can be annoying an stuff but your daughter has some problems id guess but she cant be all bad , even her dad cant have been all bad as you liked him at one point he was drug taker but I think most people take drugs when they have problems mental issues ect I dont think all good things about my son thats just the truth no child is perfect your younger one will have some bad points aswell but I guess you cant know what the younger ones flaws are yet as their too young, maybe you shouldnt try so hard to pretend to like your daughter as why would you like someone who does horrible things to you , she has a mum who puts up with her still looks after her you didnt give her up or anything , got no advice I dont know what your meant to do but you have carried on with it for ten years I suppose she is getting older and if things dont improve with help well you dont have to live with her once she is older. I know that sounds so awful but that is how I feel. You can find out more about this HERE . Maybe do a sponsored silence with them. I think you DO love him because you do all the things a good parent would do. I left him and built an amazing life, beautiful home in the country, good job, book holidays, go out, provide everything my son could ever need but yet I can't provide him with love anymore, I have felt this way for about 4 months. Read books to them and do yoga. Loraine x, I think you're suffering from PTSD. It sounds like you have got into a rut of negativity. Helping other people, achieving something impossible? 5. And yet it's normal for dads to leave! I don’t want you in my bed when I’m pissed or interrupting me while I’m busy reading. I've got no way out and no way to fix this. I'm embarrassed to take him anywhere. Maybe I don't hide it as well as I think I do. And you may of fallen out of love with your partner or it may just be that you are feeling so down that you have pushed him away i some times felt that way. Sending you and your son my best wishes xx. my mum met someone new but he wasn't from our city so he visited us. You all need help and your daughter is struggling to manage her emotions in a safe and effective way and you have said that she is now feeling suicidal. Could it be that you just haven't received the right medication or talked to the right counsellor for you? 3. I know I'm going to sound incredibly entitled but my parents aren't exactly present in my life and anytime they are they push me to live with them. I thought that I would just love my baby and we would be happy and devoted to each other. I do have a heart that longs to be loved but I can't allow it. We dread her waking up each day and banging down the stairs step by step, slowly and ominously. I just feel like I'm not getting any enjoyment out of it at all. 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